What to check before you join a dating site over 60

Choosing a dating site is a bit like choosing a gym: the brochure is always lovely, and the details are in the small print. These eight questions work for any site. We have answered them for Over 60s Singles further down, so you can hold us to the same standard.

Set aside ten minutes, have the site open in one window and a notepad beside you, and work through them before you type in a card number.

1. Who runs it?

A trustworthy dating site tells you which company runs it and where that company is registered. Look at the bottom of the home page, or in the terms and conditions, usually under "operator" or "about".

A site that won't say who is behind it is asking for your trust without giving you a reason. It is also worth noting which country's law governs the contract, because that affects how you would resolve a dispute. Over 60s Singles, for example, is run by a US company and its member terms follow Delaware law.

2. What is free, exactly?

"Free to join" can mean anything from a full free service to a profile you can fill in but can't use. Find out precisely which of these you can do without paying:

• make a profile and add photos
• browse other people's profiles
• see who has shown an interest in you
• read a message someone has sent you
• reply to that message

The last two are where most sites draw the line. Knowing that before you start saves the disappointment of seeing a message arrive that you can't open.

3. What does it cost, in which currency, and does it renew?

A clear price list should be visible before you hand over card details. When you find it, check three things:

• The currency. If you are charged in a currency other than your own, your bank converts it and may add a fee, so the amount on your statement can differ slightly from the price shown.
• Renewal. Auto-renewal means the membership charges your card again at the end of each period until you cancel. Most dating memberships work this way.
• Trials. A cheap trial usually rolls into a full-price membership unless you cancel before it ends. Put the end date in your diary the day you sign up.

4. How do you cancel, and how do you leave?

There are two separate things to look for: stopping payments, and deleting your profile. Cancelling a membership usually leaves your profile in place, and deleting a profile may not stop a payment you have already made.

You want both to be something you can do yourself, from a settings page, without having to ring or write to anyone. Check the refund policy at the same time, so you know where you stand if you change your mind.

5. What will your bank statement say?

Many dating sites bill under a company or network name rather than the site's own name. Make a note of the billing name shown at checkout, so an unfamiliar line on your statement doesn't alarm you, or anyone else who reads your post. If you don't recognise a charge later, check that note before you ring the bank.

6. Who can see your profile?

Some sites keep profiles to themselves; many share them across a group of sites. A shared network is a set of dating sites that use one database of members, so a profile created on one can be seen on the others.

Shared networks can mean more people to meet, but you should know before you join that your profile may appear somewhere with a different name. The privacy policy should say who your information is shared with. Whatever the answer, keep your surname, home address and workplace out of your profile.

7. What does the site actually check?

Look for plain wording. "Every photo is reviewed", "an identity check is available" and "profiles are not checked" are clear statements.

Be wary of sweeping promises about every member being genuine, and ask what they mean in practice. An identity check confirms that someone matches their photo ID. It does not tell you whether they are single, kind or honest. No site can check that, which is why your own habits matter.

8. Are there people like you on it?

Rather than trusting any site's claims about its membership, use the free part to look. Browse for a week or two, set your age range and distance, and see whether there are people you would like to talk to before you spend anything.

Think too about what you want. Companionship, a partner for outings, a relationship, marriage? If faith matters, or you are in your seventies or eighties, look for a site that takes that seriously; this site has sections for Christian daters over 60 and for the over-70s.

A ten-minute checklist

If you only do one thing before joining, do this:

1. Find the company name and country in the footer or terms.
2. Open the price list and note the currency and every renewal price.
3. Find the words "renew" or "renewal" in the terms and read that paragraph.
4. Find how to cancel, and how to delete your account.
5. Read the refund rule.
6. Open the privacy policy and look for who profiles are shared with.
7. Look for what is checked: photos, identity, or neither.
8. Join free, browse for a week, and only then decide whether to pay.

Red flags on any site

Walk away, or at least slow down, if you see any of these:

• No company name, no address, no terms.
• No price list until after you have entered card details.
• Pressure to buy extras, or countdown timers on offers.
• Claims about large numbers of singles near you with nothing to back them up.
• No way to cancel or delete from your own settings.
• A member who, very early on, asks you to move to text, WhatsApp or email. That is a warning sign about the person rather than the site, and the romance scams guide explains why.

How Over 60s Singles answers these

The current prices are on the prices page, and how it works walks through each step. For the company details in one place, see about Over 60s Singles and the key facts.

If something goes wrong after you pay

Most billing problems can be sorted quickly if you act early.

• You want to stop paying. Cancel renewal in the site's settings straight away; on Over 60s Singles that is Settings > Billing. Cancelling stops the next charge.
• You don't recognise a charge. Compare it with the billing name you noted at checkout, then contact the site's help centre. For Over 60s Singles, that is the help centre.
• You can't get an answer. In England and Wales, the Citizens Advice consumer service can explain your options. Your card provider can also tell you what it is able to do.
• You have sent money to someone you met on a site. Ring your bank at once, then report it: Report Fraud on 0300 123 2040 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, or Police Scotland on 101. The safety guide lists reporting lines for the US, Canada and Australia.

Before your first conversation

Whichever site you choose, the habits that keep you safe are the same: keep conversations on the site at first, video call before you meet, meet in public, and never send money to someone you haven't met. The safety guide sets them out, and online dating for the first time explains what to expect once you are in.