Romance scams and how to report them in the UK

In May 2026 Report Fraud said it had received 10,784 reports of romance fraud across the UK in a year, up 29% on 2024, with losses of more than £102 million. The average loss was £9,500, and people aged 55 to 74 accounted for nearly half of the money stolen.

Those numbers are not a comment on anyone's judgement. Romance scammers work in teams, follow scripts and have done this many times before. Knowing the script is the best defence there is.

How a romance scam usually unfolds

Most romance scams follow the same four stages: a flattering approach, a fast and intense courtship, a sudden crisis that needs money, then more crises. The details change; the shape doesn't.

1. The approach. A warm, flattering message, often from someone with attractive photos and an impressive job. They seem very interested in you specifically.
2. The courtship. Weeks or months of daily messages, long and attentive, often at the times of day you are most alone. Declarations of love come early. Plans to meet are made and then fall through.
3. The crisis. Something goes wrong that only money can fix, and it is always urgent.
4. The repeat. If you pay once, a new problem follows, then another. When you finally refuse, the affection can turn into guilt, anger or threats.

The stories that come before the request

Scammers choose stories that explain why they can't meet you yet and why they can't simply use their own bank. These come up again and again:

• Working abroad: an engineer on an oil rig, a doctor with a charity, a soldier on deployment, a contractor finishing a job overseas. It explains the bad phone line and the camera that never works.
• Fees and paperwork: a customs charge on a parcel, a release fee for a bank transfer, a visa, a flight home, a hospital bill.
• Investments: a tip about cryptocurrency, gold or trading, often with a website showing your "profits". You are encouraged to put in more. The money never comes back.
• A sick relative or a business in trouble: someone they love is ill, or a deal will collapse without a short-term loan.
• Faith and grief: talk of God's plan, prayers and Bible verses, or a story about their own late wife or husband, used to build trust quickly. Our Christian over 60 section and the guide to dating after losing a spouse have more on this.

Sometimes the request is not money but a favour: receiving a parcel, opening a bank account, or passing on a payment. Do not agree. You could be used to move stolen money, which can put you in legal trouble.

What they say, and what it usually means

These are typical lines, given as examples of the script rather than quotes from real conversations.

Warning signs in the conversation

Police Scotland lists these among the signs it sees most often. Two or three together should stop you in your tracks.

• Strong feelings after only a few conversations.
• Pressure to leave the dating site for email, text or a messaging app.
• Details that don't match their profile, or a story that shifts.
• A camera that never works, and always a reason not to video call or meet.
• Photos that look too polished, or that seem to belong to someone else.
• A request to keep the relationship secret from your family or friends.
• Sooner or later, a problem that only money can solve.

Checks you can make yourself

• Ask for a video call. A real person who likes you will make the effort. Our guide to video calls explains how, step by step.
• Check their photos. A reverse image search (for example with Google Lens or TinEye) shows whether the same picture appears elsewhere under another name.
• Say the words out loud. Tell a friend or relative everything, including the parts you would rather not. If you find yourself leaving bits out, notice why.
• Keep talking on the dating site until you have met in person and feel sure.

On Over 60s Singles every photo is reviewed before it appears, but what members write about themselves is not checked. An optional ID badge shows that someone matched a photo ID to a selfie; it does not tell you anything about their intentions. How it works explains what is and isn't checked.

If you think it is happening to you now

1. Stop. Send nothing more, however urgent or upsetting the next message is.
2. Ring your bank on the number on the back of your card. If someone rings you about money unexpectedly, hang up and dial 159, which connects you to your own bank. Stop Scams UK says 159 covers more than 99% of UK retail bank current accounts.
3. Report it to Report Fraud on 0300 123 2040 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, or online at reportfraud.police.uk. In Scotland, call Police Scotland on 101. If you are in danger, call 999.
4. Report the profile through the help centre, with the username and what was asked of you.
5. Keep everything: messages, usernames, phone numbers, bank details you were given, receipts and dates. Don't delete the conversation, even though you may want to.
6. Change your passwords if you shared any, or let anyone access your computer or phone.

Scam text messages can be forwarded free to 7726, as the National Cyber Security Centre advises.

Reporting it outside the UK

Can you get your money back?

Often, if you paid by bank transfer within the UK and act quickly. Since 7 October 2024, the Payment Systems Regulator's rules have required UK banks and payment firms to reimburse most victims of authorised push payment (APP) fraud, up to £85,000 per claim. APP fraud means you were tricked into sending a payment yourself, which is how most romance scams work.

Expect to be targeted again. People who have been scammed are often contacted by "recovery agents", "lawyers" or even fake police officers offering to get the money back for a fee. Genuine police and banks never charge you to investigate.

Helping a parent or a friend

If you think someone you love is being scammed, they may not want to hear it. Arguing usually makes people defend the relationship more firmly. It often works better to ask questions: have you seen them on video, why do you think they can't use their own bank, what would you say if a friend told you this story? Show them this page, and offer to sit with them while they ring the bank.

Looking after yourself afterwards

Many people feel embarrassed, grieve for a relationship that seemed real, or stop trusting their own judgement. That is a normal reaction to a cruel crime. The Silver Line, run by Age UK, is free and confidential for people aged 55 and over, 24 hours a day, on 0800 4 70 80 90. For practical advice, the Age UK Advice Line is free on 0800 678 1602, 8am to 7pm, every day.

When you feel ready to date again, our safety guide and the guide to meeting a date safely set out simple rules that keep the odds firmly on your side.