Dating in your eighties

By your eighties you have probably been through more change than most dating advice imagines: retirement, bereavement, perhaps a move to somewhere smaller. You also know your own mind. That is a real advantage when it comes to meeting someone.

What do people in their eighties want from dating?

Most people meeting someone new at this age want companionship rather than a merged household: someone to talk to, go out with and care about. More often it is:

• someone to talk to every day, even if only on the phone
• a companion for outings, meals, concerts and holidays
• someone who remembers the same things you do
• affection, and for some, romance

Say which of these you are hoping for, in your profile and early in a conversation. "Friendship first, and we'll see" is a perfectly good answer, and it means the people who write to you are hoping for something similar.

Being honest about age and health

Give your real age, use a recent photo, and mention anything that will shape your plans before you meet. People in their seventies and eighties who reply will be interested in you as you are, and a meeting that starts with a surprise rarely goes well.

That includes a walking stick, hearing aids, a heart condition, or simply needing a rest after lunch. You don't need to put it all in your profile, but mention it before you meet so you can choose somewhere that suits you both. Our guide to dating with a health condition has suggestions on how to raise it.

Ways to get to know someone when getting about is harder

You don't need to travel far to get to know someone. Many friendships at this age begin on the phone and only later move to a café.

A first meeting checklist

A first meeting in your eighties should be short, in daylight and somewhere you know. Before you go:

1. Talk first, on the phone or by video, so you recognise each other's voices.
2. Choose a familiar place near home, with a comfortable chair and toilets nearby.
3. Go late morning or for lunch, avoiding rush hour and the dark.
4. Make your own way there and back, even if they offer a lift.
5. Tell someone where you are going and when you'll ring them afterwards.
6. Keep it to an hour or so. You can always arrange another.

Our guide to meeting a date safely sets out the precautions in full.

When your family worries

Tell your family early, introduce the person when you are ready, and be open that your finances stay separate. Adult children and grandchildren may be pleased for you, protective, or both. Their concern usually comes from love, and sometimes from things they have read about scams.

If it helps, something like this can open the conversation (an example, not a script): "I've made a new friend and we've been meeting for lunch. I wanted you to hear it from me. Nothing about my money or the house is changing, and I'd like you to meet them."

You don't need anyone's permission to have a relationship. But a family who feel included is likely to be on your side.

Signs someone may be after your money

Romance scammers target older people, and the pattern is consistent. A romance scam is a fake relationship built to get your money. Be very wary of anyone who:

• won't meet in person, or keeps cancelling for dramatic reasons
• won't video call, or the camera is always "broken"
• asks you to keep the relationship secret from your family
• asks about your savings, your home or your will early on
• needs money for an emergency, a fee, travel or an investment
• asks you to buy gift cards or send cryptocurrency

In May 2026 Report Fraud said people aged 55 to 74 accounted for nearly half of the more than £102 million lost to romance fraud in the UK in a year, and older people are targeted too. If you are worried, stop sending money, ring your bank, and report it to Report Fraud on 0300 123 2040 in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, or to Police Scotland on 101. If someone rings you unexpectedly about money, hang up and dial 159, which Stop Scams UK runs to connect you to your own bank. Our romance scams guide explains more.

Money, homes and wills

Keep your money, your home and your important papers to yourself while you get to know someone, however long that takes. Never send money, lend money or share bank details with someone you have met online.

If a relationship becomes serious, three things are worth knowing:

• Marriage cancels an existing will in England and Wales, according to GOV.UK. If you marry again, make a new will.
• An unmarried partner inherits nothing automatically in England and Wales under the intestacy rules, so if you want to leave them something, put it in a will.
• A partner has no automatic right to make decisions for you if you become unwell. A lasting power of attorney in England and Wales lets you choose who does. In Scotland, powers of attorney are registered with the Office of the Public Guardian (Scotland). Northern Ireland has its own system.

A solicitor can advise on all three. Many couples at this age choose not to marry or move in at all; our guide to living apart together explains how that works.

Facing loss again

Starting a relationship in your eighties means knowing that illness or loss may come sooner than either of you would like. Some people find that makes them hesitate; many find it makes the time together more precious. There is no right way to feel about it. If you have been widowed, our guide to dating after the death of a husband or wife may help.

Company without the dating

If you would like more company but aren't sure about dating, start there. Groups such as the u3a have no age limit, according to Age UK, and our guide to meeting people across the UK lists groups and classes region by region.

If you'd simply like someone to talk to, the Silver Line, run by Age UK, is free and confidential for people aged 55 and over, open 24 hours a day on 0800 4 70 80 90. The Age UK Advice Line helps with practical questions on 0800 678 1602, 8am to 7pm every day.