Online dating for the first time at 60-plus

If you last went looking for a partner before mobile phones, online dating can look like a foreign country. In practice it is closer to a well-organised introduction: you say a little about yourself, look at what others have said, and write to the people who interest you. The rest is the same as it always was.

What happens when you join?

Joining takes a few minutes: you give an email address, a password and your date of birth, then fill in a profile. On Over 60s Singles, sign-up asks for just those three things. Use an email account you check regularly, as that is where notifications and password resets go.

You then fill in your profile. There are short fields for the basics, such as the age range and distance you're interested in, religion, languages, children, and whether you smoke or drink, and a space to write about yourself in your own words. At least one photo is usually needed, and every photo is reviewed before it appears.

Two things are worth knowing from the start:

• Your profile is shared. Over 60s Singles is part of a network of dating sites that share one pool of profiles. Members who joined through a partner site can see you and write to you, and each profile shows which site the person joined through.
• Written details aren't checked. Photos are reviewed, but what members say about their age, job or circumstances is not. Treat it as you would anything a stranger tells you.

How it works goes through each step in more detail, and our checklist of what to check before you join applies to any dating site.

A few terms you'll meet

Dating sites use a handful of words that may be new. Here is what they mean on Over 60s Singles.

Choosing photos

Your main photo does more work than anything you write. The best ones are:

• recent, taken within the last year or two
• clear, with your face in daylight and no sunglasses
• just you, so nobody has to guess which one you are

A second or third photo doing something you enjoy, such as in the garden, on a walk or at the piano, gives people an easy first question to ask. Avoid photos that show your house number, your car registration or the outside of your home.

Writing a profile that sounds like you

Write as if you were introducing yourself at a friend's lunch party: specific, warm and a little personal. Three short paragraphs is plenty. Say what your days look like, what you enjoy, and who you'd like to meet.

Specific beats general every time. Compare these two openings (both are examples, not real profiles):

• "I like going out and staying in, and I have a good sense of humour."
• "Retired from teaching, now happiest on the allotment or at the Thursday choir. I make a decent Sunday roast and a terrible crossword attempt."

The second gives a reader three things to write back about. Say plainly what you are hoping for, whether that is companionship, a regular partner for outings, or love and the rest. If faith matters to you, our Christian over 60 section has advice on how to describe it.

Your first fortnight, step by step

There is no need to rush. A calm first fortnight might look like this.

1. Days 1 to 3: write your profile and add two or three photos. Leave it overnight and reread it before you finish.
2. Days 3 to 7: browse. Note the profiles that make you smile or that you'd like to ask about.
3. Week 2: write short first messages to a handful of people. Decide whether you want to pay for a membership to read and reply.
4. When a conversation takes off: a few days of messages, then a video call, then a coffee in daylight.

Browsing and saying hello

Browsing profiles is free, and you can take as long as you like. Many people spend a week or two looking before writing to anyone.

When you write first, keep it short and mention something from their profile: "I see you've walked the Pembrokeshire coast path. Which stretch did you like best?" (an example). That works far better than "Hi, how are you?" Saying hello is free; reading replies and carrying on the conversation needs a paid membership.

How conversations tend to go

Expect some conversations to fizzle after a message or two. People join and drift away, or get busy with grandchildren and holidays. It is rarely personal.

When a conversation does take off, there is no rush. A few days of messages, then a video call, then a coffee, is a sensible pace. Our guide to planning a first date picks it up from there.

What does it cost?

You only need to pay when you want to read and reply to messages. These are the current options:

US prices as shown in the members area on 16 October 2026; the members area shows the exact price before you pay. Memberships renew automatically until you cancel in Settings > Billing. Check the price and billing details at checkout before you pay.

Before you pay, note three things. Prices are charged in US dollars, so a UK card will be converted by your bank. Every membership renews automatically until you cancel under Settings > Billing, so if you want a fixed period, put a reminder in your diary. And the charge appears under the billing name shown at checkout, so make a note of it. The prices page has the details, including refunds.

Safety rules from day one

Never send money to anyone you have met online, and video call before you meet. Those two rules stop most trouble before it starts.

• Keep conversations on the site until you have met in person and feel sure.
• Video call before you meet.
• Meet somewhere public, travel independently, and tell a friend.
• Never send money, gift cards or cryptocurrency to anyone you have met online, whatever the reason.

If you think you are being targeted, stop replying and report it:

Our romance scams guide is worth reading before your first conversation.

When it feels like too much

Online dating can be tiring, and it is fine to take a break. Meeting people through groups and classes is a good companion to it: our guide to learning and interest groups explains how they work. To leave the site altogether, choose your avatar, then Settings > Delete Account.