Remarrying later in life as a Christian

For many Christians, marriage is not just a legal arrangement but a covenant made before God, and a relationship that matters is one that is heading there. Marrying again after 60 can be a great joy. It also raises questions a first wedding didn't: what your church teaches about remarriage, what happens to your home and savings, and how your children will feel.

This guide takes the church questions first, then the legal and money ones. The details here are for England and Wales unless it says otherwise; Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own rules on wills, inheritance and notice.

After the death of a husband or wife

If you have been widowed, the churches are clear that you are free to marry again. The vows you made were "till death us do part", and the main Christian traditions marry widowed people in church just as they would anyone else.

That doesn't mean it is simple. You may feel loyalty to your late spouse, and your children may feel it on their behalf. Our guide to dating after the death of a husband or wife covers guilt, family and knowing when you're ready.

After a divorce: what the churches teach

Remarriage after divorce is where the Christian traditions differ most. In broad terms, and always subject to your own church's current rules:

A declaration of nullity, often called an annulment, is a finding by a Catholic church tribunal that a marriage was not valid from the start. It is a church process, separate from a civil divorce, and it takes time.

In the Church of England, some clergy decline to remarry divorced people as a matter of conscience; others will offer a service of prayer and dedication after a civil marriage instead. Because practice varies even between ministers, talk to yours early, before you set your heart on a date or a venue. Many couples find that conversation valuable in itself.

A blessing after a civil wedding

If a church wedding isn't possible, or isn't what you want, many couples marry at a register office or approved venue and then have a service of blessing, prayer or dedication in church. The Church of Scotland, for example, publishes an order for the blessing of a civil marriage. Ask what your own church offers.

Marriage, civil partnership or neither

Some couples later in life decide not to marry, for financial, family or personal reasons, and keep their own homes. Our guide to living apart together explains how that works and what legal protection it lacks.

Civil partnership is also open to opposite-sex couples across the UK, though not every Christian sees it as an alternative to marriage. These are questions for your conscience and your minister as well as your solicitor.

Wills and inheritance

This is the most important practical point. In England and Wales, marrying or forming a civil partnership cancels any will you made before, under section 18 of the Wills Act 1837, unless it was written in expectation of that marriage. GOV.UK says the same.

If you marry and do nothing, the intestacy rules decide who inherits. Intestacy means dying without a valid will. In England and Wales, where someone dies leaving a spouse and children, the spouse receives the personal possessions, the first £322,000 of the estate and half of the rest; the children share the other half. That figure has applied to deaths since 26 July 2023, according to HMRC. For many people over 60, it means a new spouse could inherit almost everything, and children from a first marriage very little.

Many couples want to provide for each other while protecting what they hope to leave their own children. A solicitor can explain options such as a will that lets your spouse live in your home for their lifetime, with the property passing to your children afterwards. Make new wills at the same time as you marry, or before. Scotland's rules are different, so take Scottish advice there.

Prenuptial agreements

A prenuptial agreement is a written agreement, made before the wedding, setting out what each person brings to the marriage and what should happen to it. In England and Wales, prenuptial agreements are not automatically binding, but since the Supreme Court's decision in Radmacher v Granatino in 2010, courts give real weight to one that was entered into freely, with full understanding, and is fair. Each of you should take independent legal advice.

Pensions and benefits

Marriage can change your income as well as your estate, so check before the wedding rather than after.

• Survivor's pensions. Some occupational and public-sector pensions paid to a widow or widower stop or change if you remarry or live with a new partner. Ask the scheme in writing.
• Means-tested benefits. Married couples are assessed together for benefits such as Pension Credit, which can reduce or end an award.

The Age UK Advice Line on 0800 678 1602 can help you work out what to ask.

Giving notice and the paperwork

The legal formalities are straightforward, but they take time. For a civil wedding in England and Wales, you each give notice at a register office at least 28 days before the ceremony; the GOV.UK guide explains how.

If either of you has been married or in a civil partnership before, you will need to show how it ended: the final divorce order (formerly the decree absolute) or your late spouse's death certificate, as GOV.UK lists. Church of England weddings usually use banns read in church instead of notice at a register office; the Church of England's legal requirements page explains the options. Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own notice rules, so contact the local registrar there.

Where you will live

Deciding whose home to live in, or whether to sell both and buy together, affects your finances, your inheritance plans and your families. Take your time, take advice, and be wary of any arrangement that leaves one of you without a secure home if the other dies.

Many couples also make a lasting power of attorney at this stage. A lasting power of attorney is a legal document that lets someone you choose make decisions for you if you become unable to, about money, health or both.

Talking to your children

Adult children often welcome a parent's remarriage and worry about it in the same breath, usually about the family home and their inheritance. Telling them early, introducing your future spouse in good time, and being open about the plans you have made with a solicitor can turn suspicion into support.

A checklist before the wedding

Work through these in roughly this order, ideally six months or more before the date:

1. Talk to your minister or priest about whether, where and how you can marry.
2. Tell your children, and introduce your future spouse if you haven't already.
3. See a solicitor, each of you separately if your interests differ, about new wills and whether a prenuptial agreement makes sense.
4. Check any survivor's pension and means-tested benefits.
5. Decide where you will live, and what happens to each home.
6. Consider lasting powers of attorney.
7. Give notice or arrange banns, with your documents ready.

Before you commit

Marrying later in life is a joyful decision, and it deserves the same care as any other big one. Be cautious of anyone who presses for a quick wedding, wants to merge finances early or asks for money: those are warning signs, not romance. Our romance scams guide explains why. For more on faith and dating at this stage of life, see the Christian over 60 section, and if your partner doesn't share your faith, read when a new partner doesn't share your faith.